trying to comfort a friend
I’m still waitin for selfies to become an accepted form of currency
for some people they already are
I get progressively uglier throughout the day
gold teeth, grey goose
green moose, guava juice
have you ever been so wildly attracted to someone that you can actually feel your heart rotting just because you know you’ll never get a chance with them
omg you’re straight!!? wow. like, how does that even work? how do you have sex? omfg when did you know that you’re straight? haven’t you tried being gay?! maybe you just haven’t met the right person yet…. but wow you’re straight. i have a straight friend. hi straight friend. HEY EVERYBODY THIS IS MY STRAIGHT FRIEND
only girls with boyfriends shave their legs in the winter
I am British I whisper as I purposely spell words with U’s.
I AM AMERICAN I SHOUT AS I DEEP FRY MY FREEDOM.
I am Canadian I say politely as I ride off on my polar bear
canada cant even figure out how to use the text brush to write, they have to handwrite it.
handwritten like the signatures on all our equal marriage certificates
we think we’re made of numbers. percentages on tests, pounds on a scale, likes on a photo, price tags on clothes. but we’re not. we are made of love and happiness and they way we laugh. we’re made of good memories and late nights and past-curfews. we have more substance than numbers.